Sex & Fire

The hardest thing is growing. Wait.. that sounds wrong... The hardest part of what I'm going through is the growing. I've been a bachelor most of my life and as any bachelor I'm using to taking what I want, when I want it. Not, of course, in a juvenile predatory way, although God knows (and may She have mercy) I'm at least as guilty as that as any man. But as an adult when there are two consenting people, why not enjoy one of our 4 innate biological needs?

It ain't that simple is it? Of course not.

A beautiful woman is asking you to have sex with her, and as your body responds your brain is saying "No". It's saying "No" for innumerable reasons, and yet the temptation, the desire, the want for that sweet taste of "company"... the sweet taste of sex, her skin, her lips, her warmth, the scent of control, the drive to own and possess, to feel her body respond to you, to feel your own response and the totality of the union...

...but that's why you're saying no. Now is not the time. You are not the person. I can fuck you, for sure, and clearly want to. But I don't want to fuck. The flesh is willing, but the spirit...the spirit says "No".

So, I'm growing. But I want it. Sometimes it's offered like that, and the usual excuses fail and you're left with, "Please, no. I want to but not now."

But I do want it now.

And so what. Home, frustrated, TCB again?

Yes. It is. It's called growing, and as it hurt to physically grow as a boy, sometimes it's going to emotionally hurt to grow as man.