Various Lies

Friday, September 25, 2009

Sod this for a game of soldiers!

I'm on vacation as of......NOW!

Albeit, a stay-cation. With family in town. Including a screamy 3 year old.


I'm out of the office until Wednesday. Hooray!


I will have my laptop, be on email, working on my biostats homework. And I keep my G1 powered up and active, so I'll be getting the daily minutiae and bullshit.


I suck at vacationing!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

What the Everliving F*** is Your problem? Pt. II

For a resolution to Part I: he was helped to understand the error of his ways and chose to forgo his poorly timed vacation.

To part the Second!

I am going out of town for a conference in a few weeks, to a city I love from afar: Chicago! now, I know we're in a time of budgetary woes and so forth, so I have gone out of my way to cover costs and reduce expenses as much as possible.

Firstly, I am traveling with two colleagues from work (two of the co-authors on the presentation I'm giving) and we are driving for fucks sake. It's a 10 hour journey. We are not flying we are fucking driving. We are not taking a 2 hour jaunt aboard a modern sky-liner to get there, because it is expensive. We are fucking driving for ten goddamned motherfucking hours to help save money.

Secondly, I am sharing a room with another colleague (from a different institute) when I get there. I could have got my own motherfucking suite at the motherfucking Hilton, but I did the right thing, and called up a friend and we figured out a room share.

Thirdly, I got pre-approval from the Executive Management Board of the Institute I work for to go on this conference. I wrote a memo to the Board, I drew up a budget and justification and I plead my case. They were so swayed by my rhetoric and oratory that of course they approved. It's only costing $2000 (that was before we decided to drive for fuck's sake. It's even less now).

So, I would say I've done pretty fucking stand up job of Doing My Bit, or being a Team Player, if you will. So now you might understand my frustration that I find out just three weeks before leaving, just AFTER the cut-off date to get the hotel booking fee re-funded that they won't cover my motherfucking hotel room!

Corporate, in their infinite fucking wisdom have canceled all purchasing and advance privileges for everyone, everywhere in the whole goddamned System. This arrives on top of my partner not getting paid for two goddamned, camelwanking months by the inept, corrupt and thoroughly fucking useless local City Government. So, I have killed my credit cards (and credit), and emptied my savings (not that she gives a good goddamn, but there you go, that's a rant for another day), and now I'm told I have to fork out $800 for a fucking hotel room, and I might not get it reimbursed!

Which bit of "work related expenses" do they not get? Do you really think I want to sit in fucking car for 10 fucking hours and get up at 6 in the fucking morning to give a presentation? Do you think that after working non-stop for a year trying to get this fucking Institute funded and efficient I wouldn't rather go on a fucking vacation?

I am told that the only option is to write a begging letter to the VP Finance and essentially beg for a...payday advance?

So, they'll cover my expenses.

With my salary.


Can someone, somewhere explain the logic behind this please? Anyone? anyone? Don't be shy, don't raise your hands, just shout it out?......




No. Me fucking neither.

The Institute has already approved the funds from their budget. So why the everliving fuck are Corporate being dicks about this? Why must employees be treated like conniving, thieving little children out to have a jolly on the company dime? Why must I beg for something that has already been given to me?

I haven't yet decided on my approach, but have no fear, it will be extreme, and will share it with you too Dear Reader. Just what I fucking need. More fucking work.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Sartorial Inelegance

One has a nice blog post brewing about hats at the moment, but that must wait, for I am in the middle of putting on another hat.

Suffice-it-to-say right, now, that is raining, heavily, still. Has been for days. I am wearing khaki slacks with a nice, full cotton French cuff shirt, replete with silver treble clef cuff-links. I look FANTASTIC.

However, I had to rush outside to grab something hat related and an unfortunate gust of wind now renders me sartorially inelegant. The problem with khaki is that it shows moisture. I must now attend a seminar on genetic research into the underlying etiology of Parkinson's disease in Drosophila melanogaster, followed by a poster presentation hosted by our Research Technology Unit, looking like I need potty training...