Various Lies

Thursday, April 1, 2010

I knew they'd come round, eventually.

As many of our academic Blog community know, Prof-like Substance and Professor in Training have both resigned their Tenure-Track assistant professor positions and are returning to academic postdocs, because, basically, being a PI sucks ass and being a postdoc is awesome. You just don't know it at the time.

Unfortunately a cadre of hit-diosgruntledocs has been dispatched from the freshly Unionized UC-system to 'terminate with extreme prejudice" these "traitors to the glorious cause".

Obviously both PlS and PiT were a bit upset, as were their respective families, at their impending being KILLED to DEATH by disgruntledocs. So, in the interests of preserving life, and getting more of my own shit done, I have agreed to welcome them both into the wonderful embrace of Academic Administration. It's kind of like being PI, in that you spend all your time in meetings, dying slowly on the inside whilst not getting any real work done, but there's no stinky lab work which we know everyone hates anyway.

So, welcome my new bitches slaves employees: Administrator-like Substance and Administrator in Training!

8 comments:

balanced instability said...

that is very generous of you. Congrats on your new minions. happy april!

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

HEY! No fair! You already have an assistant, whereas I'm all on my own up here! I want one of them!

tideliar said...

@Balanced Instability: Thanks for stopping by! My generosity is almost outweighed by my humility. I am indeed munificent!

@Cath: Wanna time share? They're both foreigners, and at least one is from the commonwealth, so visas mightn't an issue...

Dr.Girlfriend said...

I totally forgot it was April fools day today. I am so glad I did not choose today to announce my intention of returning to graduate school - a move I am serious considering.

tideliar said...

@DG: really! How brave! I was hoping to go get my MBA this year, but our big grant didn't funded so I likely will be let go in a few months - year. Still too angry to blog about that though...

Anonymous said...

Fuck assistants. I want minions.

In other news your April fools joke was about a day late again.

-antipodean

tideliar said...

Is there much difference when it comes to most postdoc positions?

>:)

Anonymous said...

I'll have you know I have made an exemplary minion.

-antipodean