What the everliving F*** is your problem? Part III

To the ignorant, shit-kicking, fucktard behind me line at the deli today:

So they don't have iced-tea. Big fucking deal. Was it really worth a ten minute rant at the poor cunt standing behind the counter, who quite clearly cannot do anything about the fact that his employer doesn't carry iced-tea?

Oh, wait! They DO have iced-tea, just not the brand you want to drink! Oh, well it's fine to launch into a fucking ignorant, race-fueled rant about "them damned foreigners" in the middle of Einstein's Bagels then. Of course. We all wanted to know your views on "everything that's wrong with this country nowadays" because they don't have Lipton Fucking Iced-Motherfucking Tea.

"I don't drink any of that foreign muck. This is America, and we don't like foreign muck!" Was a work of rhetorical genius, made doubly ironic by the copper tint to your badly permed hair proclaiming your European ancestry. I, as a foreigner, felt especially welcomed to your city, as did my Nigerian colleague, and I'm sure the two Indian students in front of us were overcome with joy too.

"When I was in Boston they didn't even ask if I want sweet, or unsweetened, or even offer me any NutraSweet...that's why I won't live nowhere like that. They don't understand how things need to be done in the South."

Awesome. You geographically challenged fucking bigot. You predicate your entire, godforsaken, blighted existence on the basis of the availability of fucking Iced Motherfucking Tea? Seriously? You need to go fuck yourself. Really, you do.

You define, sum up and personify everything that is wrong with the racially charged Southern US. I know you, and I know your type. Making comments at them damned uppity coloureds, and never mind the Mexicans or the Jews. All things foreign are to be feared and reviled, and everything that is white and good lives here in the South. And is decorated with Confederate flags, and maintained by white folk. God fearin' church-goin' hypocritical lazy motherfuckers like you.

God Bless America.