Various Lies

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Houston, we might have a problem



I am watching NASA TV and the live coverage of the Atlantis maintenance trip to the Hubble Space Telescope.

It is absolutely fucking amazing. They've got the HST in the shuttle payload area, by the looks of things, and with the earth whizzing by in the background (they're orbiting once every 36 minutes...that means they're traveling at a relative velocity of about 50,000 miles and hour!!) the astronauts are on an EVA playing with the telescope.

One of the astronauts just came on his radio mic, "Atlantis, Houston I have a tear, approximately 8 inches long and one quarter inch wide in the outer skin of my right glove."

"Houtson copies, Atlantis you have a tear, approximately 8 inches long and one quarter inch wide in the outer skin of your right glove. Just checking. That's the outer skin only right?"

"Yes. Proceeding with wide-camera repair."





Holy. Fucking. Shit. That's gotta be practice and experience right there. Talk about remaining calm under pressure.

The Tideliar version: "FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. HOUSTON. OH FUCK I'MA GONNA DIE. FUCK. HOUSTON!! THERE'S A FUCKING HOLE IN MY FUCKING GLOVE. OH JESUS. OH FUCK!"

"Ah, Houston copies, Tideliar. To confirm, you're gutless whimpering faggot flying at 50, 000 mph?"

"Tideliar confirms first extra-vehicular pants shitting is complete. Carrying on with replacement."

2 comments:

microbiologist xx said...

I was just reading some of your earlier blog posts and came across this one. That is fucking hysterical. Seriously, LMAO. :))
"Tideliar confirms first extra-vehicular pants shitting is complete. Carrying on with replacement."
That is awesome.

tideliar said...

ha ha! Glad you found the Liarchives. I've been meaning to dig some stories, tall tales, yarns and monologues from my old blog. Not al is suitable for public consumption now I'm nonymous, but some is rather fun reading, although i do say so myself :)