Various Lies

Monday, December 21, 2009

New Year Resolutions

Hello Reader,

Well, I'm on my last day of work before taking a few days annual leave and then our Administrative Closing. My institute is very good to its staff (probably because they pay us so badly), and with just three days annual leave I get almost 2 full weeks vacation. I'd love to be going somewhere or doing something, but a combination of no money and no travel visa mean I am stuck in this city I call home for those 2 weeks. I likely will be bored out of my fucking mind by the end of the week.

Anyway, time to think about New Year's Resolutions and so on and so forth. Mine are easy, and one has been a constant for the last few years, which shows how successful I've been at keeping it.

1. Quit Smoking.
I am a smoker, and have been on-and-off for about 20 years. Like most addicted and habitual smokers I love and hate it with equal measure. The long term health implications are horrifying though, and as I expand into early middle age I really REALLY need to quit/stop/cease & desist. So, wish me luck, Dear Reader. This one is tied into #2 on my list and I hope they go together.

2. Get back training.
I've been training/playing at Muay Thai, or Thai Boxing, for almost three years, but recently due to work and family I had to take a break. I meant to take a break for a couple of weeks and it has stretched into almost three months. I've lost nearly 10lbs (4-5 Kg), and it's not healthy. Because I'm not training I'm also more inclined to go for a pint (or two or three) after work, and obviously I'm still smoking. Muay Thai is famous not only for being one of the most brutal martial arts, but also one of the most aerobic, so getting back into training should help me with #1. And, of course, give me more stories of brutal and painful injuries to share. So far the list is 2 knockouts (with resultant concussions), two broken noses, four broken ribs, one dislocated finger, one cracked shin, one cracked foot, one dislocated fracture of the toe. Fucking brilliant!

3. Time Management
One of the reasons I had to take time off from training was that I was getting seriously behind in my non-direct work duties. Like most scientists I don't stick to the 40hr work weed. When I was a labrat I did more, but I still put in 50+hrs each at the day job. On top of this I'm taking a few graduate level courses to get a Certificate in Clinical Project Management. My training is in molecular genetics and neuroscience (with a light dusting of electrophysiology/biophysics), but now I'm an Administrator (ooh that cursed word) in a Clinical Science Institute, I need to pad the old resume out a bit.

Last semester was Biostatistics (excellent fun, but very time consuming with homework), and Fundamentals of Clinical Investigation. Finals have been taken and I'm happy to say I passed Biostats, and should have passed FCI barring a complete fuck up on the final exam. It was to critically evaluate a clinical study (using Zoledronic Acid (a bisphosphonate) post-operatively to reduce re-fracture and mortality after traumatic hip fracture, if you're curious) and I hope I did well. Seemed like a good study, and they certainly stuck to the CONSORT review outlines.

Anyway, on top of this I am on the Board of Directors for a national charity. We represent a very substantial number of people and have been taking a little heat recently for focusing too much on the small/procedural issues, and not the "larger" picture. Well, that's partly because the charity is young, and we've been working very hard on getting the organisational aspects of the charity in place, and now we're looking to expand. This position is time consuming enough, but I have been nominated for one of the Governance Chair positions on an internal committee and it is going to take a amassive amount of my time. I really struggled with getting everything done this year and got some stick for not keeping up woth everything I needed to do. Things are going to be tougher next year. I thought about resigning my position, but then lookerd at some of my fellow Board members. Without doubt they are excellent, motivated and talented people. Some are in the middle of mid-career job transitions and one of our more senior Board members just accepted a Chair at a very prestigious medical school.

If they can do all this and keep up, why can't I? no excuses Dr. Tideliar.

So, between my Board duties, and classes in Epidemiology and Legal & Ethical Aspect of Clinical Research, I am going to be very busy. Quitting smoking will add an hour a day, or so, on to my work week. And getting to the gym will keep me out of the pub and bring some focus back into my life. And that focus i can reflect in my job and extra-curricula actives.

Fuck, there's a certain, beautiful symmetry to my plan huh? I must be a genius or something.

What are you planning for next year? Maybe we can all encourage each other in 2010.

Merry Christmas, Dear Reader,

T

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

2 weeks?

Dear Reader,

Fuck. Sorry. Really busy right now.

Building webpages

Forgetting to sit finals for biostats

Sitting (late) finals for Biostats

Sitting Clinical investigation finals

Getting my house ready for the Grandmother Invasion in a couple of days (actually failing at this, because we don't have a bed for her sleep in yet...)

Being generally fucking awesome (although in desperate need of a haircut)

...normal service will resume when I once more have to write 500 words of filth laden detritus upon you. Next week, probably.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

What a bunch of wankers!

Thanks to the Lay Scientist and their new Carnival of History I have discovered 'mongst other Things, a most won'drous new Blog. Hi thee at once, nae, sooner, if thou canst to:

Georgian London

As a Londer myself (albeit, barely), and an avid amateur historian I can think of no finer way to pass my idle lunchours than exploring Georgian London (and often, by extension, Britain) than Lucy Inglis' blog.

And to make matters better, the first post I arrive at is something near and dear to my heart, and furtive scrabbling hands...

ahem,

Anyway, go check out A Frotted History... in church Mr. Pepys? Good grief!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Are you taking the piss?

I'm all about cultural sensitivity and stuff, and I try and bit a politically correct to respect my fellow man. However, I do not subscibe to the rampant PC and CS bullshit that goes around and is used as an excuse to promote any old bollocks that any old bloke wants because it's his/her "right" to a certain belief.

Fuck. Off.

So, I was bloody surprised to find out that thanks to "National American Indian and Alaska Native Heritage Month" we're having a "Informative Session & Presentation" (WTF does that mean? As opposed to a what?) on...

"Medicinal Plants and Backyard Herbs"
Natural Healing Remedies Inspired by the Native American Culture (Cherokee)

Are you having A FUCKING LAUGH?!

We're a medical School. An accredited Medical College!!! FUCKING HERBALISM? ARE YOU TAKING THE PISS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!

From the speakers' bio: "Her early training in herbalism came from walking the fields and woods of west Tennessee as a child."

What the ever-loving fucking pisswank does that mean? I walked the fields and woods of South Hertfordshire as a child, but at no point have I thought that it entitled me to some motherfucking herbalist shamen-like knowledge, other than how to avoid stinging nettles and badger shit.

I've been warned about making waves about this because I'll be construed as a racist and "hater". Thankfully my girlfriend is 25% Native American & 75% Africa American.


And the best defence is a good offence...

Statistics Don't Lie!

New rankings for the most dangerous cities, and even neighbourhoods were released out today. Delightful Memphis is the 10th most dangerous city in the US, which is nice.

Our local douchebags hoodlums screwed up this weekend though, when we had a full FIVE murders; but they were too late to affect our national rankings. Poor timing lads, I mean that 19 year college kid you shot to death outside the library: wasted (literally). Although with murders regularly committed by teenagers (the youngest arrested in the aforementioned shooting was 16, the eldest just 19) , maybe it's an inexperience thing. a few years in the FedPen, and the advanced training this provides, should ensure a better result next time.

New this year were neighbourhood stats too. And although we made only a poor 10th place nationally, it was great to see Memphis ranking up with Richmond, VA; Dallas, TX and NY, NY as having multiple neighboorhoods on the crime-map. Our two neighbourhoods have an average risk of 1 in 7 for someone passing through (although I think they mean living there) of being a victim of a violent crime.

Fucking hell.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

See it IS normal!

From today's edition of Nature, about an article in the Public Library of Science (PLoS).

Research Highlights

Nature 462, 14 (5 November 2009) | doi:10.1038/462014b; Published online 4 November 2009

Animal behaviour: Fruit-bat fellatio

PLoS One 4, e7595 (2009)

Libiao Zhang of Guangdong Entomological Institute in China and his colleagues have documented what may be the first case of regular fellatio in adult animals other than humans.

They report that female short-nosed fruit bats (Cynopterus sphinx) licked their mate's penis during 14 of 20 observed copulations. Matings that involved licking lasted significantly longer than those that did not.

Possible functions for this behaviour include stimulation to prolong copulation and assist fertilization; mate guarding; antibacterial effects; and the detection of chemicals assisting in mate choice.

The authors say their observations could suggest a possible adaptive benefit for the activity in this species.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Whiplash!





How fucking good is that song? Seriously?! What the ever-living buggeration!

The whole motherfucking album just makes you want to go fucking run and punch someone/thing a hard as you can in the face with your other hand raised in the motherfuckin DEVILS SALUTE!

Fuck Yeah!



Here on the stage the Marshall noise
is piercing through your ears
It kicks your ass kick your face
Exploding feeling nears
Now is the time to let it rip
To let it fuckin' loose
We are gathered here to maim and kill
Cause this is what we choose

Adrenaline starts to flow
You're thrashing all around
Acting like a maniac

The show is through the metal is gone
It is time to hit the road
Another town Another gig
Again we will explode
Hotel rooms and motorways
Life out here is raw
But we will never stop
We will never quit
cause we're Metallica

Adrenaline starts to flow
You're thrashing all around
Acting like a maniac